Praise for Glaen by Fred Lybrand:“I can't think of a more outstanding book on any dating before marriage or even pre-marriage books out there than this one and its easy reading.” ~ Kathleen, blogger (Click here to read Kathleen’s full review on her Heart 2 Heart blog)
Dating vs. Courting Part 1 -
Taken from a recent post on the Glaen blog by author Fred Lybrand:Relationship Field Book Journal
Dating: “having a good time getting to know each other” (referring to guy & girl) – Jennah
(From GLAEN, p. 25)
So, here is a journal entry from Glaen out of the mouth of one of Annie’s best friends, Jennah. Jennah is caught in what we might think of as ‘serial dating’— you know, going through relationship after relationship (like a serial killer, etc.)
Most of us think this is the way to go, but you can tell by the methodology is isn’t very like to help you find a long-term mate if that is what you are wanting in life. A long-term relationship has some foundational component of commitment, where ‘serial dating’ is really quite throw-away in its approach. It is amazing how your definition will determine so much (remember my last blog!). If dating is all about ‘having a good time’ then that can easily turn in a funny direction. This is probably why there is an old joke or two out there about a girl you’d like to date vs. a girl you’d like to marry (or guy…).
There is something important in DTR (defining the relationship), but if it were defined better from the beginning you wouldn’t have to stop in the middle of it and break up!
Start here: What am I up to?
Yes, what are you up to in dating? What are you up to in the relationship? Are you ready to be committed and get married? If not, why are you in a short-term committed relationship? Jennah’s definition isn’t too bad since it is good to get to know others. But frankly, it quickly turns into a set of expectations about marriage, children, growing old together, etc.
Why not just be honest with others? Where are you? What are you ready for? If you are not ready, why are you playing like you are?
Some people have sought to conquer the issue with something called ‘courting’—which is all about commitment.
So, on one extreme, Sheryl Crow weighs in with words from her music:
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard
On the other side there is Art Garfunkel’s remake hit of 1975:
You are here
So am I
Maybe millions of people go by,
but they all disappear from view.
And I Only Have Eyes For You.
Where is a real relationship?….see you next time!
Author Fred Lybrand takes an in-depth look into relationships and dating, plus a little common sense for the real day-to-day world, in his latest book, Glaen. Lybrand has chosen a unique and effective way to present his knowledge of human relationships and romance by creating a storyline that allows readers to walk alongside believable characters as they discover and explore an exciting and more effective way to relate to those with whom they will share life’s most intimate relationships.
The life changing principles found in Glaen are the gems Lybrand wants readers to take from the story and experience in their own lives and relationships. This book will serve as a great teaching tool for parents to use with their children as well as for church leaders guiding couples who are seeking a more satisfying marriage relationship.
Glaen by Fred R. Lybrand
The Barnabas Agency February 2010
ISBN: 978-0-578-04652-5/softcover/171 pages/$14.99
If you want a sneak peek at “Dating vs. Courting Part 2”, visit the Glean blog.
Check out the book trailer and reader comments on the book site.